Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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