brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
