And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
