Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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