Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
