Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
