butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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