The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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