Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
