are you still at the devil's house?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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