Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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