so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
