first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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