Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize