I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so let's talk penis.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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