I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
