I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
