She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Randomize
