I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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