Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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