reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
