i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
