Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
