she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
