He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
