No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
