hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
