thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
