You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
