I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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