dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
