we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize