don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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