I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
