It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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