dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
