And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
