I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize