ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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