you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
