It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
