I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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