I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
