You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
