He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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