Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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