please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
