Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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