i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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