Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize