I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I need a burrito and a hug.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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