Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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