BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
