Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize