Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
