I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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