I must be too annoying 4 u.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
