so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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