i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
