Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
