It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
