I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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